Ever since I found out about my friend’s death, it kind of forced me to spend some time deciphering the static grey matter inside my head alone. Sometimes reliving sweet, tender moments is the worst feeling, especially when you realize that things can never be the same again. But thanks to such a wonderful support system, it’s safe to say that I’m feeling a bit better since then. Thank you all so very much. The wake is this Saturday, the same night as Sam’s opening! I need to figure out how to attend both without having to pull any disappearing acts on anyone.

Also, I found it hard to stay in the studio this morning, but now that it’s past 9:00 p.m., I can work diligently and at a more consistent pace. Earlier, I was slightly confused about my paintings and which direction I want to go. It seems that though I always make work that revolves around one central theme, I illustrate it in three very different and specific ways. I don’t think I’ve clearly settled for any one of the three, and I find myself often weaving in and out of all of them. I don’t really know what to do about it. I don’t even know if it’s necessarily a bad thing. I need to schedule an individual crit with Samantha soon! 

Lastly, I’ve decided to make a list of artistic endeavors I’d like to accomplish by the end of this year: 

• Make a professional website
• Make it into the student art show (crossing my fingers!)
• Make 100 paintings

The last one sure is daunting. Maybe even impossible, who knows. But if it is, I’d like to make it as high up as I can. 

Good night, all!